Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Top 10 Reasons That I Will Not Miss Pregnancy


1.Sleeping "comfortably" requires 5-6 pillows strategically place around my body. 

2. I am not a fan of waking up with one or both arms or hands "asleep" and then having to stay awake while I move them feverishly in hopes that the circulation will return to them. I won't lie. Due to my thoughts being clouded because of sleepiness, I have thought that feeling might never return to them leaving me unable to move my hands or arms for the duration of my pregnancy. I have been known to overreact from time to time. 

3. Waking to a leg cramp that feels like I will never be able to straighten my leg again due to the piercing pain. I told you, I might overreact a little.

4. Looking in the mirror to see that it appears that I have been stung by an entire bee hive full of bees, due to the swelling that has occurred not only to my face but my entire body. 

5.Trying to decide whether sitting down is worth all the pain and effort of getting back up in five minutes to go to the restroom, yet again. 

6. Planning my trips up and down the stairs to make each trip efficient so that I don't have to do it but a few times a day.  Then crying due to the realization that it is inevitable that I will forget something and my plans will be thrown out the window. 

7. Walking. All walking hurts and feels like I deserve a brownie just for attempting it. 

8. Eating. You would think this would be enjoyable to a pregnant lady. While I do enjoy the taste of food, I do not enjoy the feeling that knives are stabbing my esophagus as I try to swallow it. Thank you indigestion. 

9. Varicose veins - Anyone who has experienced these can give me an amen. My legs look as though I have been beaten with a baseball bat. I have blue and purple bulging veins all over my legs. While they will never fully go away, one of the great rewards I will always carry from pregnancy, they do get much better once I am not carrying all of this extra weight and blood. (I know gross, put your big boy/girl pants on please. Life and labor are much more disgusting. It's beautiful.)

10. Going to my weekly doctor visit only to find that I have gained 5lbs in a week!! I swear I have eaten healthy except for all that chocolate cake, sweet tea, and "granola" bars (Let's just call them what they really are, candy bars with some grains.)

I am aware that the rewards of pregnancy far out weigh all of my moaning and groaning but sometimes we just have to laugh to keep from crying. Or go eat a pan of brownies and make ourselves feel better. 

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