Monday, April 21, 2014

A New Easter

Easter and it's traditions have changed for us since we have moved to Oregon. No fancy new clothes. No large family gatherings. Things are different here. 

I miss a lot of our old traditions, but I have realized that I need to make new ones. 

(These are my children hunting eggs in very non-traditional, southern Easter attire.)

I started thinking about making new traditions when we first moved here and it overwhelmed me. How do I let go of the past and embrace the present?

I have found that this move has been refining me. Hopefully, it's a process of sanctification, if I will allow it. 

I have had to focus on the REAL meaning of the holidays. Not that I didn't before, but in my search for what should be emphasized in my family, I found that I had to get real with myself. 

That is absolutely terrifying and disgustingly ugly. You know what I found....I'm not really a nice person. 

I desire to focus on God and His love for us and how he sent his one and only son to die a horrible, humiliating death for us. And Jesus did all of that then He rose again. He beat death!!!

Not only did He do ALL OF THAT, he taught us so many things in His short time on this earth. He taught us to love everyone. Not judge and condemn (that's not our job) but love, help, and invest. 

I have a hard time with that. Loving others is messy. It takes time. I will probably say and/or do something stupid or offensive and mess it all up. Why put myself out there like that?

But.....if I REALLY BELIEVE then I will. I will put my money where my mouth is and try to know people and love them. 

That has become EXTREMELY hard for me. I don't like the risk that relationships involve.  There inevitably will be a goodbye involved and I am terrible at saying goodbye. I would rather chew my own arm off than say goodbye to someone I may or may not see again. 

However, that is the price of love. I imagine that Jesus felt the same sadness of goodbye, even though He knew the outcome, He understands our feelings. I imagine that Jesus' mother was distraught as well as His disciples. 

Understanding that I have to live out the gospel, love others, and invest in them no matter where I am is tough. Risk is always involved. Someone may want to take more than I can give or I may be a total let down to anyone who gets to know me, but the effort must be given in order to have life and have it more abundantly. 

That's the new tradition that I desire for my family. A tradition of discipleship, really knowing and studying the Gospels and prophecy in the Bible, serving and loving all of those around us. No matter the differences or the risk of investment. 

"Love alone is worth the fight."

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Save the drama for your mama....oh wait, please don't!!!!

My two year-old is a drama queen with a capital D!!  Most days start off with crying drama the minute she wakes up. Her sister walked out of the bedroom before her, she doesn't want a diaper change (Even though her diaper is bursting and leaking all over her.), she wants to watch T.V., etc.  Poor Zoe can have an emotional break down over ANYTHING at ANYTIME.

While her constant roller coaster of drama can make me feel as though I am trapped inside a glass case of emotion, believe it or not...... I get bored.  How on earth I could ever find the time to be board is a complete mystery, but somehow I do.

It is the monotony of the everyday. Being a stay at home mom can be so rewarding and fulfilling however, when I know exactly how the day will unfold, and I may not even make it out of the house (depending on the day's schedule), it can bring a person to tears.

In this boredom/monotony, I can find myself cycling into a doubt. I get stuck in a rut so I get down and when I get down I can doubt that God is even there. (I know not another depression blog but stick with me :)

Don't get me wrong, I truly believe that He is there and I have believed in His power since I was a child.

It is only recently since I started reading (and re-reading) Beth Moore's, "Believing God" that I realized the cycle that has played out through out my life.

I get distraught or disillusioned with life therefore, I spiral into making decisions that may not be the best for me or my family. This comes from my boredom with seeking God and not feeling as though I am receiving instant gratification from my submissiveness to His calling and His will for me.

The bad decisions I make may not seem life changing at the time. It may be simply to talk to God less or study His word less. This results in a bad attitude toward my husband and children and the role that I play in my family. (And less control over my tongue which could be an entire blog post on its own.)

 I learned once that the wife/mother plays the role of the Holy Spirit for her family. Don't get me wrong, we ladies are NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT, however, we were designed by God to have deeper feelings and somewhat greater intuition into the thoughts and feelings of others.

If I lose touch with God and His Holy Spirit in my life, then I lose touch with my family and in turn lose for us all.

The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years as a result of their lack of faith. They became disillusioned. They forgot all that God had done for them. Things hadn't worked out EXACTLY how they thought it should or in the time frame that they wish it would have. Therefore, their Promised Land was delayed.

How many times in this instant gratification world that we live in do we get bored? How many times do we lose sight of who God is through our wavering faithfulness?

I desire to be faithful to God because I want to dwell in the Promised Land that He has for me and my family. Only by dwelling in Him can I remain faithful. That is the cycle that I want to remain in. A cycle of faith not doubt. I desire to leave a legacy of faith for my children and grandchildren.

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